Sunday, September 14, 2008

The other day on the bus

I spent one of my last evenings out with Jason and we went to the new fancy Power & Light District. We had dinner at Flying Saucer where they have
130 beers on tap (my kind of place). Then we went to Lucky Strike which I guess is supposed to be some high class bowling alley.  It was a nice place, but way to yuppie for me. I like my bowling alleys grungy.  When we left, the circus was getting out at the Sprint Center and I was like, "take me to the circus Jason."
 Well, that didn't happen so we
 went to "The Zoo" instead.  Fancy hole in the wall bar with an awesome juke box.  The rest of the night is history...but that isn't what this is about.

The bus ride is what got me.  It was a dreary wet evening and the bus was crowded with rain drenched riders.  The faces of those riding the bus was that of solitude.  A sea of faces going around and around in their little lives. I don't want to minimize the richness of everyone's lives, but I was saddened to know that as humans we travel in circles of routine.  I thought about my friends and how we love and support each other.  Our lives are entertaining and we truly enjoy each other.  I'm breaking out of the mold of the circle and venturing off to a small town in Northern France called Colmar.  I've left behind my safety net of friends. I've left my grandparents who have always played such an integral part in my life. I've left the boy (I guess man is more appropriate) I met only 6 weeks ago who I was trying hard not to get to close to, but failed miserably at.  Do I need to go to France for 9 months?  I do because we get so wrapped up in the smallness of our lives that we believe are gigantic.  We've got one chance to make our lives worthwhile. Only a hundred years ago, we were not able to move about the planet as we do now.  I only have 2 reasons to stay in Kansas City, my friends and my family.  A third one was making it's way into the picture too.  Re-reading this makes me seem heartless because I have no real reason to go other than not wanting to have that feeling of regret.  But does regret outweigh friends and family?  I'm not sure.  All three things will be with you for life. Regret is the only one that can be avoided. Family and friends will come back once you eliminate the awful feeling that you may one day regret not going after  your dreams. 

 I love my Kansas City, I love my friends, I love my family.  I'm going to France because I know my friends will always be there when I return.

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